Funny Holiday Investigation Tales

One of the Writing PIs and Santa (image copyrighted)

 

Not all private investigations are serious affairs—sometimes they’re funny. Below are two of those cases, along with a third that doesn’t involve investigators, but a deputy district attorney and a very drunk, and surprised, young man.

“I want my husband served his divorce papers on Christmas day–tell him they’re his gift from me.”

We had a thoroughly irked wife who’d found out about her husband’s blatant philandering, and made a special request through her divorce attorney: she wanted the cheater served on Christmas Day. Had to be served on Christmas Day, no other day would do.  To top it off, he was working at a local jail on Christmas Day. So, we showed up at the jail and politely asked to see him. Minutes later, he appeared–a handsome, cocky 30-something–who took the envelope we handed him, opened it, read that his wife was filing for divorce, and after thanking us, said,”This is the best Christmas gift!”

“My husband’s in the alley going for Krispy Kremes—serve him, quick!”

Another wife wanting a divorce served. Seemed her husband, who she still lived with, had done her wrong and she wanted him served ASAP, which happened to be the day after Christmas. We showed up at the front door with the papers, rang the bell, and the wife (our client) answered. She whispered that her husband was pretending to take a shower because he was afraid she wanted to have him served divorce papers, and would we mind coming back in a half hour when he did his usual Saturday morning run for Krispy Kremes? We said sure, we’d come back.

Thirty minutes later, we parked in the alley behind the house and, to our surprise, saw the wife running down the alley, waving frantically at us, yelling, “He’s pulling out of the driveway any minute!”

We happened to be parked in front of the driveway, so when the garage door opened and he attempted to back out, there we were, papers in hand. He refused to open his driver’s window, so we placed the papers on his windshield, told him he was served, and drove away.  We suppose he left and got his Krispy Kremes after that.

“Stop or I’ll shoot, wherever you are!”

A young man on New Year’s Eve had been drinking with some friends and wandered away from the bar shortly after midnight. That he could still walk after all he’d consumed was a miracle. He ended up walking up the driveway of a house that he thought he still lived in (but, in fact, he’d moved from years ago). Finding the front door locked, he went to the back porch and opened the sliding glass door. After entering the living room, he curled up on the couch and began playing with the video game console in front of him.

Moments later, the current owner of the house, who happened to be legally blind (as well as being a deputy D.A. for that jurisdiction), heard noises, got his gun, and walked into the living room yelling, “Stop!  Get down, wherever you are, I have a gun!”

Chaos ensued as the highly intoxicated young man fell over more furniture than the legally blind D.A. with the gun did. Fortunately, the D.A.’s young son (hiding in a back room) had already dialed 911, so the police arrived before more damage could be done. Although charges were filed, the D.A. recommended all charges be dropped and the young man undergo in-patient alcohol treatment.

Hopefully your holidays are less eventful and more fun!

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